Some days go beyond Nutella. Some days I need chocolate in various forms wrapped around soft serve. Today was that day.
Being a blogger is not very glamorous work. I know you imagine me dressed in heels and silk scarves, lipstick and eye shadow applied carefully, nails manicured, sitting at my keyboard typing words of homeschool wisdom after spending glorious hours instructing my three adorable children in the liberal arts with a touch of science and technology thrown in for good measure.
Yet, you are mistaken, my friend.
Tonight I sit at my computer that is currently cluttered by some Shakespeare copywork, piano sheet music, a book on Pirates of the Carolinas (for kids), a very marked up schedule for next year’s school, a key that I have no idea what it unlocks, and a glow in the dark beach ball.
I am typing in a Word document because I currently cannot get into my site to type a proper blog post. It seems the demons inside my computer (or more accurately the internet) have decided to crash my site every third time it is accessed. I spent most of the day chatting with tech support in between trips to buy boots and horse riding lessons (for the daughter, not for me). Today nine of you were able to access my site.
Nine WHOLE people were able to bask in the awesomeness that is Hide The Chocolate. Well, actually, seven since I asked two friends to check the site for me.
I am currently dressed in my finest pair of black yoga pants. They are my finest because they have pockets. I realize there isn’t much need for pockets if you’re going to wear these pants to do yoga, but the fine people at Old Navy realized I had no plans to do yoga. They realized I would be wearing these pants to clean house, do laundry, teach school, pick up gum wrappers, transport random toys from room to room and, eventually, sleep in. Pockets are quite helpful in this case. I can put my phone in there for when I need to check FaceBook while my youngest is trying to find her science book for the third time this week. Sure, it pulls the pants down on one side, but hey, it’s worth it to know what concert my friend from high school did NOT attend.
I am also sporting a red v-neck t-shirt that matches the red sunburn I acquired today. V-neck t-shirts are really quite fashionable. Only the fashion illiterate would still buy crew neck shirts.
And the sunburn? Well, I earned that while attempting to video my daughter running barrels on her horse. After several attempts, I managed to video approximately 5 minutes of my month-old pedicure (that I’m still rocking because you’d have to look pretty close to see how much it has grown out) and 4 minutes of my pants leg. I may have posted a few seconds to my Instagram Story, but I’m not really sure since I have yet to master that little circle with my picture in it. I’ve got this social media thing going on…just ask my kids.
However, as unglamorous as I may appear, I assure you that one person in my family had a far worse day.
Today, the eldest and my husband went on a college tour. He still hasn’t decided on a school (seriously we’re running out of time here), and I’m starting to lose my cool. Apparently, my husband (who had been on a week-long middle school trip to DC and arrived home at four this morning) lost his cool, too. After spending four days chaperoning a group of pre-teens and two nights sleeping on a bus, he was in no shape to drive my son to meet with the department heads. He had trouble getting his contacts in and was reacting to returning to our southern pollen fest lovingly called Spring. He looked a little rough when they got into the car and headed out.
Within minutes I was fielding dramatic text messages from the 17-year-old. His dad may have said something along the lines of our son better not be following a girl to this school. And if that was the case, my husband was not going to attend the wedding!
I really had to control my laughter before texting my son back and then texting my husband to calm down. The teenager said hubby got out of the car at the college with his hair sticking up and bloodshot eyes raving about ex-girlfriends and weddings. He’s pretty sure the admissions counselors think his dad is on cocaine.
You’ll be happy to know that they both made it safely home, and no one was injured physically or emotionally in the process. My husband is currently asleep with one hand wrapped around the remote in a death grip, so I can’t change the channel from ESPN. I’ll let him have this one. He deserves a little reward for being “Dad of the Week.”
There are days when I really should just go back to bed. Those days when it all starts to fall apart, and you have two options – cry or laugh. Some days you have to do both to keep your sanity. Today, I cried while laughing and it felt really good. But, I’m still going to Dairy Queen. Chocolate really is my drug of choice.